Miss Tiffany Universe 2009

OMG! ! ! *fanning myself frantically*

This is a hot messs ! ! !

I woke up and I fainted (graciously ofcourse) out of excitement when I opened CNN.com (Chaoahkwa News Network) and WHAM...

BREAKING NEWS!

Tristina won miss Tiffany 2009 *shriek* followed by 2 of *gasping for air* my super BFF of BFFs, Miss Pao Ang and Miss Victoria Secretion!

It's like...O M G !

Top 3 out of 100000000000000000000000000 (insiders said it's ten, but how may 0 are there in ten? errr... many??), yeah it's 100000000000000000000000000 (ten) contestants lerrrrr...

click click for their close-up winning smile...

left to right Miss Pao Ang, Tristina. U and Victoria.S....






and here, the winner herself, Tristina Uglilera, miss Tiffany 2009, alone, proud and fabolous... *wipping tears*flick hair*


during the interview, Tristina was asked how is her feeling and all. She answered gracefully with an elegant giggle.. 'I still can pee standing... teehee hee hee'


and guess who is the honored make-up artist of the night???

*flick hair*

ME!!!!

Remember, it's still 1-900-Iwannabeahotmesstranny

congrats, gurl! Love chu all...

xoxo

Tristina, Miss Tiffany 2009?

Tristina claims that her friends call her "Tiffany" cos she looks expensive and high maintenance.

*roll eyes*

as in Tiffany&Co lerrr, like, which part ah???

but we never, we just call her Tristina Uglilera *flick hair*

after few seconds of me rolling my eyes, something dawned on me. I shrieking out loud. I think she meant she is the miss Tiffany not that Tiffany&Co.




OMG, gurllll!!! You are soooo gonna be the next year winner! ! ! You are indeed the true Miss Tiffany! *do the waving*


now, I agree with your statement. Miss Tiffany, you are expensive (chop kuku, plant nehneh, filler here filler there) and high maintenance (heels, dress, make-up, lingerie and crowns that is permanently stick to ur head?)

*shout* Tristinaaaaa is Miss Tiwannee Uniworst Two Jeelo Jeelo Naiii (2009) Naaa Krubbbbb ! ! !

xoxo

iPtui

Miss Darcy Chong left this comment: ivan(a) ... did you put on makeup!?!

and this comment: yea you did! (very obvious in this pix)

I take that as compliment *roll eyes* and a pinch of salt.

FARK LAHHH!! Don't you just LOVE when people make assumptions? *kick kick*

Here, let me teach you my beauty regime *flick hair*

1. Sufficient hours of sleep... 8 hours on weekdays or less on weekends.

2. Drink enough liquid, alcohol included, lots of it.

3. Basic moisturiser i.e La Mer.

and

4. TLC Medical Practice Pte Ltd 27B Lorong Liput Singapore 277738 Tel: (65) 6462 0083.

Please! I DO NOT NEED MAKE-UP!

*flick hair*

Anno Ying, Is That Chu??!

Disclaimer: This entry is nothing personal.

Have you ever experience that you see random stranger and you feel a sudden urge to b*tch slapping them.

This is happened to me... alot alot alot of times.


Seebee face stranger no.1.

1st, I noticed the hair... What's with the look? Her hair is covering one of her eye! Why don't you just wear a pirate thingie then?!!! Halloween is still in 3 months lorr or perhaps wait for few more days laah...7th month is coming what! Ptuii

why not take a clearer picture... snap snap


then I noticed her mouth and nose! She got that perpetual mocking look. She got the comeandhatemelook! OMG!!! *flicking hair frantically*


then I turn my head and saw this uncle lady's man...staring at himself using a tiny mirror... HORROR!!! What is happening???!


ohmmmm...I need to do yoga, pilates and perhaps an anger management course!!! H E L L L L L L L P ! ! ! ! !

xoxo

It's Datin Horreur's Happy Day

Rexillia looking fierce! ! ! !



Rexillia's hair is a hot mess but her vest is fierce. The necklace is tranny fierceness. The make-up is super hot tranny ferocia! Tranny!

Rexillia, you are a tranny, who look like a hot mess and not in a good way. You're a tickety-tack tranny hot mess out of control super tranny from JooChiat who is not apologizing for it!

Happy Birthday, Rexillia!!!

i heart rexillia to death!

xoxo

Little Miss(un)fortunate

Today, me, the ladies and Shiru decided to do something healthy for once. Despite the drizzle, dark clouds and super humid weather we all made it to ECP. It's really the case of diediemustdosomethinghealthy Sunday. Some of us decided to do roller blade and some will ride bicycle.

So we went in our designers shorts and tanktop *flick hair* 2 of my lady friends even decided to go topless in their roller blades, showing of their nehnehpok *cover eyes* That's when I suspect one of my lady friend is a man *shriek* cos she got super hairy navel area *faint*

anyhoo..this is not the whole point.

You all know how crowded ECP can get during weekends right? I believe half of the population of Singapore is there, half of them at Carrefour. Believe me... It's the fact!

Ride ride ride my bike. Suddenly few seebees (cb) decided to cross the street, so I chum break. I flew over to the front, the bike topled over and hit my back. For once, I thought..wheeee...I can fly!!!! I'm wonderwoman...ehh no she can't fly, I'm superguuurrrllllll *flick hair*

*thud*

Awwwww...cb, how come I fly only for 2 seconds. I supposed to land gracefully lerr not like this!!! I can't move. I feel like my whole body is cracking. It's sooo freaking painful and I felt dizzy. Thank God Tristina was behind me. She saw the whole thing and came to my rescue. Layla was there too with Michelle. The rest was right infront and didn't know that I fell.

I can see alot of people stopped and look at me laying helpless at the pavement. I can't decide whether they stopped cos stunned by my stunning beauty *flick hair* or becos they witnessed the nasty fall *shriek*

Few nice stranger came to my rescue. I was to dizzy to say thank you. Very very sweet of them. THANK YOU mr. Stranger 1,2,3 and etc.

Miss Li drove me to nearest A&E to get my wound check. Thank you, Miss Li. My elbow hurts like hell, my pelvis hurts like hell... I can't walk properly. I'm like 80 years old chiobu, who needs a walking stick. I have 3 bruises in my shin, one of them now is the size of 50 cents coint. Bleahhh


and my elbow is bandaged

so much for being healthy lorrr! Never ever ask me again to do healthy thing. Next time, if my lady friends decided do their healthy thing again, we do it MY way. Sit down in some cafes and have a bottle or 2 whites. Alcohol is good for body, it kills germs and bacteria. Amen!

This is sucks!!! Why oh why this is always happened to me!

Where is my painkiller, I need my painkiller!!!

Shiru Doo

Shiru had a small op and as promised I tried my very best to keep her company.

I think I failed miserably... *flick hair*

with her bandaged eyes I still demand her to serve me coffe, play the dvd, do the channel surfing (plus occasional screams when I don't like the channel) and 70% of the time I'm with her I grumbled.

Poor Shiru, but then again, Shiru is a shitszhu, shitszhu is a man's best friend, in my case a lady's best friend.

Speedy recovery, Shiru!

Little Miss SunShine

Nelly asked me why am I so quiet today. The answer is simple , cos I have an attitude problem. I don't talk when I don't feel like talking *flick hair*

Shiru asked me to accompany her tomorrow. The answer is simple too, depends on my mood tomorrow, cos I have attitude problem, a major one

oh, btw...fyi, Miss Shiru Ang, you are so gonna pay for my next botox! You of all people asking me to carry a mahjong table (I believe it was 1000000000kg thingie) from People's Park Centre 3rd floor down to the basement 2 carpark.

Now, I realised I have a tiny little muscle in my right arms *shrieking ohmuthafcuka* I don't even carry my own bag!!! Still can ask me...heavy or not????

which lady that you know, have a muscular arms? ohkay..dun think about miss schwarzenegger, she is a freak!!!

urghhh... jab jab jab...bye bye muscle! hellOOoooOo long and slender arm me...

xoxo

Miss Uniworst

Watching miss Universe this year is painful to me. The top 5 look like those 'high class' *roll eyes* escort that you can spot easily in Singapore (think Orchard Tower). Dark coloured hair, tanned, tall and lengthy *roll eyes*

and the winner is from.... Venezuela *yawn*

I think if Pat Mok went to tan her skin, she will be prettier than her!

Bleah...

A Thousand Apples A Day Keep The Doctor Away

I was really really really sick last weekend. I had the complete buffet course at The Influenza that contained fever, sore throat, cough, runny nose and ofcourse the dessert, phlegm and mucus. Damn you flu bug! CB! *kick kick* My weekend was like, totally burnt. My dancing shoes had to hide in one corner. Eeeeeek ! ! ! ! !
I saw a layer of dust on it this morning so I had it for breakfast. Simply delish!

Lay flat for 2.5 days is no joke. Doesn't even have appetite for food (read:dust). All I do is sleep, take my medication and continue to sleep and sleep. I was unusually quiet, really no mood to talk nor flicking hair. Which to most of my friends is a unnusual (miracle to them). BLEAH!

Anyway, today, I am back to my normal self *flick hair* still have to finish my course of antibiotics thou... *kick kick*

So, what am I gonna do today. Had my breakfast (dust) and what's next? Dust for lunch?

xoxo

Bleah!

A: Want to meet for lunch/dinner later?

me: Sorry, I can't. I have toooo many appoinment to slot chu in *flick hair*. Next week perhaps?

A: Next week? I can't cos I won't be in town anymore.

me: Oh, Where you going?

A: I will be working in Eunos.

me: HUH?? EUNOS???

*faint*

Wahkao, I didn't know Singapore is THAT huge. Try dustland! For example, non-peak hour, normally it took 1.5 hrs journey, on peak hour it can stretches into 5 hrs journey! Bloody hell... Spoilt ler! Most of you all just so used to the super mini size of this island..

Frogden Ng

Frogden Ng insisted that he looks like Daniel Wu *roll eyes* I don't know which Daniel Wu that Frogden meant... *double roll eyes*

so I search on facebook, *type type* D A N I E L W U...

ehh *gasp * this one look like him! *flick hair frantically*

let me click on the profile...


*click click*

*shrieking* OMG!!! Frogden twins is that chu????


don't you just love facebook???!

xoxo

It's Miss Kimchi Lee Happy Day ! ! !

This is Kimchi Lee before he knows what is toner, hair curler, hair clip, lipstick and ofcourse, the fabolous me... She is simply classless *roll eyes*

What's with the tan, man?! Don't chu know white (read: fair) is in*flick hair*

after 10 minutes of my magic make-up skill *poof poof poof*

from kettle class

to first class

presenting AGAIN, the birthday girl... Miss Kimchi Lee!!!

Simply classy! ! ! Isn't she so gorgeous! Damn spicy Kimchi girl!! Awwww... I'm gooooood!

Saengil Chukha Hamnida, Ajuma! ! !

xoxo

It's That Time of The Month Again...Yay! Gay!

Went to Porgot Something Cafe yesterday at Palais Rennaisance. It's been 2 months
since our supposedly monthly get-together tea. We should do this as planned, ladies! MONTHLY! ! !

They told us not to take picture of the place and the food. Like, Hellloooo??! So what if we did?! Snap snap snap click click click...


the pic is courtesy of miss Tioman.

Love the place, love my dust and ofcourse love my bestest, darlingestest lady friends company...

Rainbow'r'us

Went to Toys'r'us yesterday and I saw this.

This is one game that every parents out there MUST BUY when you see your child is...different.


Look at the boy pose...like, so sweet right! ! !

mom: Ahboyyyyyy ahhh, why you wearing mummy's dress, heels, lipstick and is that... my bra!!!!

boy: Like, hellllo, mom *shrieking* You just bought for me Amazing Me! game yesterday. It thought me that I should feel good about myself. Like, hellloooOOoOo... *flick hair*

mom: Oh yeah horrr, Very the sorry lerrr... ehh, you forgot to put mascara!! Mommy got a new mascara! YSL one! Want fake eyelashes too or not?

boy: OMG, still ask???! Like, totally! *flick hair*


and this is one place that every parents out there must sent their kids to school when you see your child is...happy.




xoxo

Coincidence or What?

On the 27th December 2007, Shiru hurt her finger and she posted this on her blog:

'My finger left middle-finger got stuck at the hinge of Taboo's main door. And the nail is now black and my finger looks dead. And then I just slammed my door shut with my pinkie toe under it.'

I was laughing at her at that time. Cos all her nail will be black and she doesn't need to get it paint again. Wheeeeeeeeee

then, on the 31st of December 2007, I was attacked by my crazy neighbour with a huge kitchen chopper. He chopped my left middle-finger. Spent my new year's day morning at the hospital having my finger stitched back and all. I was 'lucky' enough to close the door in time before he can chop me into pieces *touchwood* Bloody lunatic farker!


Shiru fell down last week during Roland's birthday dinner.

I fell down yesterday. After St. James. I stepped out from the cab, tipsy, didn't see the wet floor. I fell down and hit my elbow and now it's abit swollen. I think I hit my bum too, cos over there there's also a blueblack. I was actually laying at the carpark, cos I was in pain. Lucky nobody witnessed it *flick hair* Soooo unglam right! ! !

Urghhh... CB! ! ! Now I'm not so perfect anymore... I hope it heal fast...




Last week I was down with fever, runny nose and all. Shiru is sick now at this moment.

Coincidence? Think so lah horrr. I think I just think too much.

Shiru, get well soon horr! ! ! Go see vet lah...ask them for injection or something.

Great Singapore Sale

Now I know why they call it the GREAT Singapore Sale.

according to dictionary.com

Great means: unusually or comparatively large in size or dimensions.

petiteme: Excuse me, miss. Can I have this jeans in size 29-30 24, please *flick hair*
salesbeech: Sorry, miss pretty. We only display the smallest size.

and the size is... 34! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!


Being size petite like me *flick hair* now I know why I can't find perfect size jeans when the GREAT sale is on. It is one time when you wish you are an obese so you can get pants with 50% off the rack price! Fark! ! !

Thin Line Between Love and Hate

Recently I'm getting sick sick sick of Facebook.

I know for sure the application is for the fun of it like for you to eat snake at your work place, to kill time etc ... but I just find it silly when people have to tell me this in these application:

You are Gorgeous... like hello, I already know that *flick hair*

You are Fashionable.... OMG, do you have to tell me something that is so obvious *sashay left 'n right*

Hotties for Sale.... urghh, I've never been on SALE! I am expensive *flick hair*

Send Hottness... I am the hottest! Nobody else is hotter than me! So, I don't call (send) others HOTness *shriek* Perhaps I send you boiling water?!

Most Eligible Singles... If you're the MOST ELIGIBLE, why don't you question yourself the reason are you still, SINGLE all this while? Eeeeeeeee...

Best Looking Person Contest... 'nuff said!

Oh and I'm still HATE HATE HATE those who update his doings every other second. I am in the shower, I am moisturising my body, I am at work, I am eating my own poop too perhaps??? Everytime I refresh the page, there he was updating his doings! CB! Fark lah!! Who give a shit what you are doing??!

I am still in love with Facebook thou cos I still log on to it everytime I'm online, go figure... bleah

Peace!

xoxo

Long time no see, Miss Wang!

It's been ages (read: weeks) since I meet up with my total BFF, Miss Christina Wang.

One day, as I was sashaying down Orchard road, I bumped with her , still look the same... scally skin, she got the 5 o'clock shadows even it's only 11am, broomy hair and the never sleep for a month look gorgeous. I asked her to pose for my camera infront of her fave shops. Everybody knows, my BFF is an ultra socialite *giggle*, big spender, yes BIG if you know what I mean *barf* and super health conscious *roll eyes*.

click snap snap! say ultra fatty cheeeeee!!


xoxo

It's Miss V Happy Day!

Went dinner last weekend (Saturday) to Mimolette with the ladies to celebrate Miss Victoria Secretion Koo's early birthday get together. It was a notbad food, nice environment and ofcos superb company.

Didn't take much pictures on that day, I think partly cos we were placed right smack in the middle of the restaurant where everybody else (read: other patrons, strangers) can see us and me, ofcourse partly was busy drinking.

and as usual, I had dust for my main course.


After dinner we proceed to Wan Jilebu and DaBoo Jilebu, the usual route. Wheee...more alcohol please.

I had once again the honour to do the make-up for the bday gal. Doing Victoria is a total bliss, she has the skin of a porcelain... think toilet paper, the 4 ply Italian marble. Flawless! Even after she finished up the whole bar counter at both clubs, Victoria still look great. I think thanks to my make-up skill *flick hair* and ofcourse her flawless skin.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SIS!

Stay beautiful, young, fabolous and fierce! Love you deep deep! ! ! *air kisses*

ps. remember, my number still the same 1-900-Iwannabeahotmesstranny. Book early to avoid disappoinment!!!