Christina Wang, The Unathourized Biography

Once upon a time...

in March 1950 to April 1950, Christina Wang got herself in Rafflesia Girl' School ... got kicked out soon after due to her beauty. Apparently half of the school refused to be in same school as her. I wonder why, she is truly a beautiful girl (inside, which I'm sure).




then she move to CHIJ (Convent of wHorish Infant Jessica alba) for few minutes... got kicked out due to her hair too big, she can't even go inside the classroom door.




then in August 1950 she give up studying and she enroll to Nanyang Gerger School as gym clothes hanger... and work there for few years.




in 1980s, Christina Wang decided to go back to school. This time she is with some unknown school that shut down once she joined. Guess it's the mushroom hairdo... it's too offensive.




1986... she took up acting class and she finally made it. She got into her first role (and only) acting debut in Godfather The Movie as a chair.


The End

xoxo

iCurse

Miss Suz I suz lost her 1 day old iPhone... *shriek* someone actually stole it from her bag that she deposited to the designated bag counter at the Nike 10k run.... urghh, how annoying is that. I can actually feel her pain.

Imagine you trust them with your bag and the people actually took the liberty to ransack your bag and took what is not belong to them???!

Oii, Nike...do something can???! Why you hire thief one??!

Suz, I seriously think, we Indo girls are not destined to do outdoor thing... It is written in our palm...

anyhoo,

damn you, thief... I curse chu... *kick kick*

It's Ahjie Happy Day

and also too Jian Li, Miss... Many Happy Day!!


Happy Birthday Miss AhJie and Miss Jian Li... many lurve, kiss and hug!

ohh...apparently today is Michael 'tee hee' Jackson (like who?) birthday too... strange, hantu still having birthday meh??? Like, who cares right? *flick hair*

xoxo

Wetnessday Bluez

I have a super strange reaction towards requests for a date...

A: so, Ivana... when do you want to have dinner with me?
me: *shriek* I don't eat!!!!I drink...ALOT Sure, like, anytime or something, whenever our timing is right? *flick hair*

after finishing up the sentence, next thing I know, I sneeze... and not once at least 2 times...ahhhtchoo...ahhhtchoo...

This happens every single time... shit... am I seriously allergic to dates? Wait, I don't even know when the last time I went for a date was ...or have I ever been on a date? Hmmm....

Miss Swannabe said..it's the reaction due to always being alone and perhaps being too comfy with my clique of friends.

Miss Shiru Doo said the reaction came due to shock, cos there are actually people who want to ask me out... Miss Shiru always attempt to impersonate Kumar's joke... but failed *roll eyes*

anyhoo...

Let me tell you guys what the scenarios of a perfect date should be, in my books:
1. Me n him, in a nice restaurant that booked at least weeks ago cos of their imsoatastillyouneedtoqueuetodineinourrestaurantforweeks persona, with alot of good wine.

2. me and him, sitting by the beach and watching the sunset, with a bottle or 2 or 3 of good wine.

3. me and him, watching our favorite telly/dvd at home on a rainy day with a bottle or 2 or 3 of a good wine.

4. me looking pretty and him cooking a home cooked meal with good wines, ofcourse.

5. me, myself and I and few bottles of booze. Perfect...sneeze free for sure!


none of that ever happened! Bleah... and what's with the sneeze?? Can someone explain it to me, what fcuk kind of reaction is this????

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms...

EMO part deux

no xoxo

Miss Tiffany Making Headlines

OMG OMG!!!



*click click*




haha..no, I didn't photoshopped all those pic. Now everybody can be photoshop expert!

try, www.photofunia.com. This is fun! ! !


and now for the real-deal...








xoxo

Monday Bluez

Today, I feel daaamn empty. My mind can't focus on things... it runs wild from A to Z. I hate mondays...

then dinner time...

my aunty called and ask me to go dinner with her. I'm not a big fan of hers, never been and never will be... she talks alot, yak yak yak *kick* to avoid talking with her, I just keep myself busy by swallowing the whole dinner table without chewing... including the plates and cutleries...

now I feel fat, I think I'm the size of Padang. Bleah! but my soul is still empty...

EMO!

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms...

Ahpao Is That Chu?

Ahpao is mad(ly in love) but I think she is just simply mad. Confirmed. She said she is leaving to Tokyo now to be with LOHL, so I wished him bon voyage and hope she will live happily ever after...

*roll eyes*

anyhoo,

I was driving around town and I saw a bus right infront of me...

*shriek* zham break*take out camera*snap snap*

OMG!!!!!!! Look!! Who's that girl????!!!


*zoom*

*shriek*

Ahhhhhhhhhhhpao!!!


Excuse me, are chu a model??? She ain't heavy, she's my sister!!! 10000lbs beauty!


OMG!!!! Can I hangout wif chu more often?? I got a famous sister lerrrr!!!!!!!!!! *shriek*flick hair*



xoxo

DJ Abang Chua

My Abang, Patricia Chua aka DJ Pash has new remixes...not one but TWO *shriek*

go and listen... *click click click*


GREAAT STUFFS! *flick hair*


http://dj.wanderlus7.co.uk/?p=14

and

http://dj.wanderlus7.co.uk/?p=15


OMG!!! I'm like polishing my dancing heels now... *doing the wall slide*

xoxo

I Had A Dream

Last night I had a dream...that I am married to the richest man in Europe soon after we moved in to his castle in Scotland...after 1 week of happy marriage, he locked me up, up high in his castle cos he is too posessive towards me *shriek*

oohh, my dream has it own soundtrack too *click click*flick hair* like, so cool right? right.



again, like, I know right? Who won't be scared to have me as their wife? Long sleek hair, beautiful eyes, red pouty lips...*flick hair* sometimes I even scare myself with my own beauty *shriek*faint graciously*

anyhoo..

out of my loneliness I decided to grow my hair longer (then it already is) so I can let my hair down thru the window til one day my (true) prince charming will come and save me by climbing it.

and in my dream, my prince charming did came to my rescue, not 1 but all of my princes, all my crush in life... OMG!!! *shriek* all of them race up to climb the castle thru my hair (this is pretty similar to Rapunzel's lerr but BETTER cos Rapunzel only got 1 prince and I got many!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeee)... within seconds they all reached the castle and then they start to gang bang me.

then I wake-up...ewwww..this is so not my dream. I ain't no Anabelle Chong!!! I'm a good catholic conservative girl!! *flick hair*

Where is my vodka?? Im traumatised.

xoxo

It's Miss Ahgong Happy Day!

HAPPY DAY, MISS AHGONG (Allanis Ahgong Loh) ! ! ! ! !

and the birthday season starts.... *hide*

*secretly flicking hair*

xoxo

Christina Wang my BFF

*flick flick newspaper Classified section*

*flick hair*

*flick newspaper again*

*flick hair*

*shriek*

OMG!!!! Christina Wang, my total BFF is promoting herself...


according to resourcesful source of mine, Christina Wang is staying true to her words by putting 'Satisfaction Guaranteed Or Your Money Back'. hmmm, sounds familiar...have I seen it before? Sounds like GIANT motto, Christina Wang favorite clothing line... hmmm... I wonder...

anyhoo,

99.9% of her customer demand their money back even before her 'service' . I truly wonder why these people still bother? Look at that face!!!

and

0.1% just walk away.

Christina!!! I am so proud of chu, even you're not doing so well *barf* in *roll eyes* selling...

xoxo

Freddy Kruger Tan

Freddy Kruger Tan got caught boinking or riding a boy inside my gym sauna. His excuse perhaps he fell and his kukubird fell into someone poo poo hole?!!!! Ultimate grossness!!! Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! ! ! !

Freddy Kruger Tan is THE ultimate cheapo, gross and cheap and gross, did i mentioned cheap? Cheap. Gross? Gross. *puke* flick hair frantically*

If any of you consider my gym (Fitness Satu) is 'expensive', think again... with $138/month for passport membership (Singapore, JB and some say Batam) or $118 for one gym only, you can treat the gym like Freddy Kruger did...max out the facility. Treat it as:

1. Gym.
Your workout place, ofcourse.

2.Office.
Bring your laptop then chop one table and treat it as your office. So, when people asked you where is your office...you can tell them... My office is at Paragon, Ohhhhchard or sometimes at One Raffles Quay, truly depends on my mood...
Glamm worr *roll eyes*

3. Spa.
With sauna that's attached, you can walk in and out everytime you see your prey walked in as many times you want/day.

4. Cafe.
free coffee, tea and softdrinks.

5. Bedroom.
Go figure... *shriek*

OMG!!! Grossssss... I wonder if people like Freddy Kruger Tan is the one who responsible for the word homophobic ladyphobic???!! *shriek*

xoxo

Transformer - Diva in Disguise

When I was very young...I went crazy over bands like Megadeth, Metallica, Skid Row!!! I have their albums and posters in my room... (google! if you don't know who they are). I was actually in luuuuurve with Axl Rose. Guess cos of her name, Rose? *flick hair*



then I moved on.

When I was younger, I took down all those posters replaced by the grunge bands. I'm soooo into the them. Nirvana, Sound Garden, Alice in Chains and I went for my very 1st concert...PEARL JAM!!! OMG OMG!!!!



then... I listened to Wilson Phillips...and that's it! Awaken the Diva in me and there is no turning back after that...I found my true music genre.

Click, til today this is still one of my favourite...




now, still young and fab my playlist in my ipod are Madonna, Natasha Beddingfield, Rihanna, Pussy Cat Dolls, ASSlee Simpson ...all in remixes.

Imagine this, Enter Sandman by Metallica (Bimbo Jones Extended Mix) ? ? ? ! ! So can not make it riiight?! Right.


xoxo

Happy 080808

and Toto result is out.

and I'm not the new instant millionaire! ! ! ! ! *shriek*

I want my $4 back! ! ! !

I don't care*show tantrums*flick hair, kick, flick hair, kick*


Can I like sue singaporepools or something??? OMG!!! Annoying caaan?! $4 also take!!! Still not let me winnnnn.... eeeeyaaarrr!

Happy 080808!!!

BLLLEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

no xoxo... ANGRY!

Majulah Singapura ! ! !

was listening to radio this afternoon...
miss Cornetto Lopez from Crass 95, was asking who is the composer of Majulah Singapura... a lady called in and said it was composed by Sang Nila Utama.

*faint*

Even I, a non-singaporean know that was not a correct answer, dum dum! (and it was not Dick Lee either, if he is your next guess).

It's Zubir Said... *curtsy*flick hair*

THANKS GOOGLE!!! Hahahaaa...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE! ! !

xoxo

Pongmeranian Must Have Tools ! ! !

I just learnt to know (gosh, im old) about the way on how to be a good pongmeranian (pong: fluffy in hokkien). The new breed that now you see roaming the street recently... From Mudderland to Play Club to Taboo to Zouk to Orchard road til neighbourhood mamashop. The young and the fluffy.

Guess long straight hair like mine is the last season eh? *flick hair* Whatevs...

The Diediemusthave list are:

Moving Rubber


Hair Spray

and the DIEDIEMUSTHAVE tool or youcan'tneverbeatrue pongmenarian, a FLAT IRON


xoxo

Truly Asia

Last weekend I went to KL with Miss Curry, Miss Victioria Secretion, Snelly the Snail, and ofcos Brucilinda Li who came on Saturday.

I never been a big fans of KL, guess of the similarity to home, Singapore... hmm, I don't know. Definately cleaner than Dustland but not as clean as Singapore.

But I always feel the strong connection between me and KL. Not in lovey dovey kinda way, cos the last trip I went up was 3 years ago, you know what I mean or issit cos I speak their language?? Hmmm perhaps cos Kuala Lumpur loosely transalated to bahasa, it means 'Junction, concentration or more chim confluence of Mud'

and Mud is the mother of all dust!!! and I am afterall from Dustland. I'm a proud Dustlander! My diet is dust too! Wheeeeeeee.... definately! I always have soft spot for dust.

and my dear Lord, did we ate alot of dust there or what!
Thank God, it's 0 in calorie...AMEN

They even have menu for their dust. Like, amazing riiight?! Truly Asia... *flick hair*






a dirty stall to prepare their dust
but the dust was amazing... They have specific name for this particular dust, Wanton Noodle.





and here another dust serving place...


and the dust...



Miss Secretion and Miss Curry getting ready to eat. Look! They even have sauce for you to dip your dust! Amazing, right??! I tried not to dip my dust into it...cos the sauce is 0.5 in calorie, it is not 0 in calorie *flick hair*




and more dust...







sweet dust...






liquid dust...





dust in a packet...*shriek* Amaazing!




and what fascinate me the most..they allowed pet to sit and enjoy their own meal! Unlike here in Singabore, 'No Pet' sign are everywhere. Ill...

2 Pongmeranian (pong pong hair) caught enjoying their lunch...awwwww... so sweet!


It was truly a great weekend, girls. Ohh, I want to thank our 2 good hostess, Danielle and Edie who bring us around and show the other side (not only Bukit Bintang and KLCC) of Mudderland.

xoxo

Random

My brosis, Miss Alfrieda Tang asked me something that caught my attention 2 days ago...

miss Tang: Eh, how come you don't have a bf ah? You straight ah?
me: huh?! *flick hair* Where is the logic?
miss Tang: aiyah, cos when you see your straight friends who doesn't have a gf for the longest time, you asked them... eh you gay ah?
me: *shriek* I can never be a lesbionic woman! ! ! ! ! I can't even go straight when I'm driving, I can only go forward! *shriek*


anyhoo,

I'm keeping my hair long(er), everybody said I look better (read: gorgeouser, stunninger, beautifuler, chioer) in longer hair. Like, I knoww right? *flick hair*

BUT...

I have made 5 times appoinment for hair cut in 7 days and canceled it in last minute. It's crazy I knowww...urghhh! My hair is like Lion King now... wait...more like a Lioness Queen? If Disney gonna make Lion King as a non-animated movie (Sarawak Jungle, not African Jungle version) I am pretty sure they will cast me as the main star! *faint graciously* They cut cost on costume as my hair already so big and a hot mess!

hmmmfph!!!

I'm going to comb my hair 100 times and sleep...it's bloody 2am now!

Ichthyophobia

Last weekend I went to a fish spa for my very 1st (and last) time.

Watched it on tv a few times about it..and I thought..hey, how bad can it be, right?

so, I try with the fishlet first... I keep telling myself, Ivana, don't be a pussy! They're tiny little fishes. Dip your feet like, NOW!

so, I did...

ehh not bad ler... it's like tiny little thingie nibbling at your feet.

after less than 1 minute, I feel like the fishes is getting BIGGER, BIGGER AND BIGGER The feeling was like, super ill! ! ! ! *flicking hair frantically*

Déjà Jaws! ! ! ! ! !


Seriously, I feel like they gonna eat up my flesh within seconds...you all know how tiny my feet is, right??! *flick hair* did I mentioned long and slender too?

anyhoo...

miss C managed to convince me to do the bigger fish...just for 30 seconds. So, I was like okay, what the heck, right? I dip my feet into medium size 'pond'. Trust me, their medium it's like the size of a minibus!

EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!

Within seconds... my whole body was in spasm. I can't take the feeling and I can't take the sight of those MEDIUM fishes attacking my delicate, tiny and ultra smooth feet! *kick kick*


I don't even finish my 30 minutes fish SPA *roll eyes* session. I am convinced that in my previous life I was really a pussy(cat) and now, I felt these tiny little fishtu (fish hantu *ghost) are taking their revenge by trying to eat me alive there n then! *faint graciously*

so...

went back and Victoria googled the fish name, Garra rufa and found it in wikipedia. Don't you just love wiki? *flick hair*

according to wiki (read: me)

They gotta keep eating cos if you are one lazy fish...

you end up


like...


this...


dust, dust nothing but dust.
ahhhhh... *nod nod*

Hmmm, dust, anybody? No, dust?

AND

If you eat enough dead skin, you become these... the fishstar!


http://photos.signonsandiego.com/gallery1.5/albums/shamu_believe/shamu.jpg

Guess where were there 2 weeks ago only??

*ding ding ding*

The fish spa! ! ! Imagine how many feet they have nibbled or accidentally swallowed right?????!!!

Now I understand why are they perpetually hungry, greedy, voracious, ravenous, starving and insatiable little fitch (fish bitch?). Cos, they need too! Even in fish's world...you gotta be a survivor. If not, lucky enough you end up as a fried dust and worst scene scenario is you still nibbling people's feet there and ultimately, accidentally step by someone *splat*


xoxo