Tuesday 21 October 2008

Roach Kill

Last night at around 11ish pm, I decided to went to bed early. Brushed my teeth, washed my face, basic moisturised it with my fave cream, then I put on my jammies and on my fave dvd series (Samantha Who?). Not for long... I dozing off to lalaland. I switch off my pc screen and ZzzZzzzZz...

After awhile, I wake up and tot it's already morning... just like any princess do, I wake up to stretch and yawn a little. I turn my head and look at my clock to my horror it's only 2.15AM! ! ! *shriek*

URGHHHH, WTF???! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... I need my beauty sleep lerrr! What happened?????!!! *flick hair frantically*

But, like any princess do, first thing they do when they wake-up is go to the toilet to have a wee-wee. That's right, emptying your bladder is good.

WAIT A MINUTE *shriek* Now I know why they call it wee-wee. It is 'pee in a wee hours!' CB!!!!! I don't need to wee-wee I just want to sleeeeep. Urghh

Sashaying my way to the toilet, fyi, my house is huge, my room to my toilet there is different time zone. Just imagine it, okay. I am a princess *pose*

Anyhoo, this is not the main thing for this entry...

*sashay sashay pout pout* suddenly.... BOB! Something land on my face... OH MY LARD!!! It's a cockroach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shriek*faint*shriek*flick hair*faint very ungraciously* It's sooooooooo freaking huge it's the size of a minibus! I am so not exageratting. Land straight to my face... I flick it off...it land on the floor and start to...FLY!!! HORROR!! A flying cockroach minibus!!!! This is like the scene in Harry Potter after he had too much pot.

anyhoo, let me continue my screaming...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Farking hell... I ran to the kitchen cabinet, grab Baygon, spray at least half a bottle of it to the bloody 'kecoa'. My whole kitchen floor was slippery cos of the spray. I watch the cockroach die slowly but surely. Wheeeeeeeeeeee... *clap hands*

then... suddenly in the corner of my eye, I saw something flying. WTF????!!!! Another one???!!! ATTACK OF FLYING COCK*giggle*ROACHES ! ! ! ! This time, it's the size of A380!! I can even see some aircrew inside its body serving meals!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! My heart pumping really really fast..it's like I just swallowed the whole jug of espresso!

I don't know why but this one seems like really flying towards to get me. Like, I can even hear it saying, you just killed my homo partner!! You bf killer!!! *fly fly flap flap*attack attack*

So, there I was, with baygon in my hand spraying at it non-stop!! Spray-run-spray-run-pose-run-spray and the thing just kept on flying. OMG!!! I thought only cats has 9 lives. Cock*giggle*roach has 9 too??? It's really like a movie! You know, in cheap flick movie, with one stab, a calafare will just die. Meanwhile the main actor/badass will got stabbed, punched, fell from 1000 storey building will still be alive and fine. That was exactly what happened to the 2nd roach... still flying strong and fly here n there, despite I had sprayed the left over half bottle of Baygon. Gosh... til death do us part or what??! I meant it to the moroach (homo cockroach).

Urghhhh...after awhile. I watch it drop to the floor, wiggle wiggle and mati it went the avengeful moroach. Clap hands, wheeeeeeeeeeeeee. Guess, now the 2 are happily ever after in their moroach heaven. EEeewwww...*shudder*

and the result, I have to go on a cleaning spree at 3am. Mop the floor. Pour detol everywhere. Spray lysol too. Ofcos, have a proper burial for the 2 lovey dovey dead couple in a dumpster.

Went shower again, I scrub myself like nobody business. Basic moisturised myself again. Put on new set of jammies. Lay down in bed and stay awake til 5am, traumatized. Bloody hell, so much for an early night.

CB!! I HATE COCKROACHES...even thou their name is COCKroach *wiggle wiggle eh wrong it's shudder*flick hair*

Urghhhhhhhh!!! That's it... I'm gonna buy those poison thingie to kill all the roaches in this building! Cockroach, pussyroach, lesroach, moroach!! Die..all must die!!!!!!!!!!!!!

meanwhile,

xoxo

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

YOU ARE THE FREAKING, MOST CRAZY BITCH THAT IS RESIDING IN THE H.V. AREA I SWEAR!!! I LAFFED UNTIL I WET MY PANTS!!!

Bob Bob said...

omg ! ! ! *flick hair*

me, crazy???! since, like, when??

Bruce said...

HAHA!